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How to have a really lazy New Year and feel unashamedly good about it

Of all the pages you’re likely to be reading about the New Year, this is one of the few that won’t be suggesting you join a gym, swap your car for a pedal bike or sell all your possessions to save the planet in a feat of virtue-signalling that, at the very least, sounds like an awful lot of hard work.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

Instead of doing more, how about doing less? If you’re one of those rare people who can do literally anything, you’re unlikely to be reading this because you’re far too busy doing your own plumbing, wiring, carpentry, decorating, plastering, drainage, gardening, flooring and interior designing.

But if you’re a mere mortal like most of us, you might just fancy having a New Year that leaves you more time to do the things you really want to do instead of the things you feel you have to do.

Take cleaning, for instance. Why bother?

Okay, you may not want to live in a pigsty, and a spotlessly clean home that smells nice is indeed a pleasant place to be in, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend your days and nights scrubbing away.

If you have a high-powered career in which you’re so far ahead of the competition that they don’t see you for dust, the last thing you want to see when you come home from work is more, er, dust - and then have to spend hours getting rid of it.

And if you’ve a million things to do to keep your family fed, watered and ready for school or work, that doesn’t mean you should necessarily enjoy cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming the stairs or working your way through literally piles of ironing as well.

So don’t do it.

Make a New Year’s resolution to give up cleaning and ironing, at least for the first year, then see how it goes.

Have a year full of me-time instead. Indulge yourself, curling up with a good book, going for a walk, tickling the cat, or whatever you’d rather be doing than cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

Give your iron a gap-year, pension off your pinny, and ditch the Dyson while you take it easy and let someone else do the hard work instead.

But who’ll do the cleaning if you don’t?

You could try your other half, but that might defeat the purpose if you were hoping to spend more quality time together.

Or if your children are old enough, or haven’t seen Cinderella, you could try your luck there… but chances are that the only thing dirtier than your home will be the looks they’ll give you if you dare suggest they lift a finger, or a duster.

So how about calling in the professionals?

Believe it or not, there are people out there who actually love cleaning, take a pride in turning sows’ ears into silk purses, and will work their way through all your ironing without even a murmur of discontent.

We know, because we employ them at Thomas Cleaning. And they’re not just anyone we could find, either. They’re dedicated, trained, vetted and supervised, and treat your home with the same respect that you do.

They won’t protest that it’s not fair, or not their turn, or ask why you don’t clean it yourself if you think it’s that dirty; instead, they’ll get on the job while you get on with your life, and your New Year will be all the happier for it.

If merely getting out of the cleaning isn’t enough for you, they won’t even mind if you want to claim the credit yourself, though you’ll probably be left to polish your own ill-gotten halo.

They usually turn up in our bright pink cars which declare to the world that you’re caring enough, or discriminating enough, to bring in the professionals - but if you’d rather let the world think that you did it all yourself, they’ll park their cars out of sight and wear a coat over their uniforms, just for you.

Of course, there is a downside.

You go back a long way. It’s probably one of your longer-term relationships. And there is an undeniable warmth between you, not to mention some steamy moments.

You’re going to miss that iron.


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